Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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