Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
