This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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