I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
