a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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