I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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