I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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