Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
