It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
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He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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