It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
