what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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