You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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