margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
