Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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