you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
