Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
