im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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