They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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