If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
