my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
