it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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