That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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