I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
