How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
