But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
