Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
