I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
