is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
