you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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