problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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