I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
