when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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