And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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