there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
