I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
