Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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