It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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