That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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