she was so not down for the gang bang
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
