yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
