It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
