just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
