90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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