youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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