for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
