And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
