i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
