I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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