btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
