And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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