My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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