put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
