Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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