Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.