...so i touched it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
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Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.