well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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