do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Â and "Why tacos?"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
