I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
