Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
