i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
