U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
