Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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