She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sext me about skeletons
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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